you all know you love me. xoxo,M

leaving

2011-11-19T01:45:00.001+08:00

i'm leaving this space. time to start somewhere new =)

2011-11-14T08:53:00.001+08:00

Time flies.
I manage to do a detox, meaning refrain from drinking, for 9 days.
Felt good. But my tolerance towards alcohol decreases a lot.
Oh well.

Life's good.
Hang out with friends very often, and spent time with family.
I really like this =)

chopped!

2011-11-02T01:05:00.000+08:00

was feeling ugly, my hair was unruly, and seriously out of shape!
chopped it off, and i'm loving the new shorter length!
and also the salon and hairstylist that ling recommend! =)

blah

2011-10-27T08:49:00.001+08:00

Whether this change is for good or a phase, I can't deny I feel good about life now.
I feel that I'm changing, or perhaps I've been suppressing it for too long.
In any case, I'm loving my life now.

sunday

2011-10-24T00:53:00.001+08:00

Went for my mid term test in the morning, only studied on my way to school.
Mac breakfast and project discussion.
Spent some alone time shopping.
Tidied up my room.
Spent time with my family.
Watched shows.
I enjoyed my sunday =)

last song

2011-10-17T20:42:00.001+08:00

one last song to remember us, A.

Kelly Clarkson
Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

fire

2011-10-04T01:29:00.001+08:00

Keep it burning...don't extinguish it...

hate

2011-10-02T12:32:00.002+08:00

hate hate hate ppl shouting at me!
rude to the max!

2011-09-29T03:13:00.001+08:00

You know the kinda night when u are bawling ur heart out, and tears just couldn't stop, and such negative emotions are at peak. All I wanna do is to numb it out. I want to feel nothing.
Yet here I am going crazy, losing my cool.
I hate feeling so fragile, I'm not allowing myself to feel that.

Perhaps you are too stubborn, perhaps I'm too stubborn.
Maybe you are too selfish, maybe I am too selfish.
Maybe it's all too late.

2011-09-26T21:58:00.000+08:00

女人吗，要懂得自爱。
就算多么爱一个男人，也要记得更爱自己，保留就算是那么一点的尊严和矜持。

i wonder

2011-09-22T21:10:00.000+08:00

Is it right for someone who is attached to go out for dinner with someone of the opposite sex to a fancy restaurant? And till after midnight? Just 2 person.
This is something that I feel is not appropriate at all.
There was so much, so much i felt that I feel waves of sadness just wash me over and over.

I'm not perfect, and I know there's so much for me to improve on.
Sighs, there's so much on my mind yet I just can't put it down in words.

so hard

2011-09-21T23:23:00.001+08:00

It is just so hard to even have a proper conservation.
It is just getting more impossible to be with such a difficult person.
How can love ever be enough?

slot

2011-09-07T09:37:00.001+08:00

Don't wanna just be part of the routine

cycle of life

2011-09-06T23:03:00.001+08:00

After going to joanne's home, baby liz baby shower and vivian's wedding, I feel very overwhelmed by emotions.
Firstly, the topics that we talk about is so different from the past, and joanne's cozy nest really inspire me! I want my cozy space next time too! Baby shower made me realize how huge the responsibility is, and how scary giving birth is, so it is not something I look forward to so soon. I did not expect myself to feel so much at vivian's wedding coz I'm not very close to her, but I guess weddings are always so sweet. It is the moment that gives you hope that love still exists. But I received bad news from another gf, so I was in such a contradicting state. Oh well!

It's inevitable, we are all growing up. Building families of our own with the right one.
I believe one day I will enjoy the moment too =)

2011-09-03T01:12:00.001+08:00

I was looking through my blog entries, the period after the breakup, I wrote something about hoping that I will find someone who will accept me for who I am.
I was afraid that I can't find the one who will accept me for who I am.
And till today, I realized still can't.
I don't know whether is it a wall that I built up subconsciously, to stop myself from falling madly in love before finding the one. But I guess it kinda make sense, to be loved as who I am even for my flaws, the person who can do that would be the person that I will love with all my heart and soul.
I guess it's hard not to protect myself after that breakup.
It was a gamble that I lost very badly, thus I prepared myself for the next one.
I'm not perfect, but I do know what I deserve and what I don't.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

less than a week

2011-08-31T21:45:00.000+08:00

Angela's baby shower this sat. Vivian's wedding this sun.
School starts next week.
USS school excursion next fri.
Joanne's jiemeis meet up next sat.

Madness, busy busy busy -_-

And results are not out yet! ARGH

it hurts

2011-08-15T19:18:00.001+08:00

It hurts...

sighs

2011-08-15T10:34:00.001+08:00

It broke my heart to know that I'm everything that you are not looking for.

love is..

2011-08-15T08:53:00.001+08:00

Love is..
holding her hand when you cross the road...
making sure she don't get lost in the crowd...
Letting her feel that she is not alone when in a room full of people...
remembering what she said...
getting rid of her insecurity...
putting a smile on her face...
forgiving and forgetting...
loving her as who she is and accepting her flaws...

nightmare

2011-08-14T11:24:00.001+08:00

I had a nightmare filled with all my insecurity, and I woke up feeling worse than ever.
Things are never the way we hope and want it to be.
As much as I tell myself to keep my cool, to just void all those negative feelings, it just seem so hard. With all the emotions bursting from my heart, I feel weak. The only way I can protect myself is to build a wall.

violence

2011-08-11T09:35:00.002+08:00

Violence is never ok.
Never ever should a man exert any form of force on a woman, a man would never ever lay a finger on the one they love. I despise and look down on man who do that.
There is never ever a valid reason for violence, I don't care if you are drunk or stressed or depressed or angry, it doesn't give you the right to do that.

Having a violent dad was a horror during my younger days, the final straw that made my mum leave him was when he punched me. Love yourself and your loved ones enough to walk away.

2011-08-11T02:51:00.001+08:00

Can't sleep! I blame it on the 2 iced coffee I had today.
Hmph! And being hungry at this hour aint helping.. Tsk tsk

2011-08-11T00:48:00.003+08:00

怕不怕被拒绝
怕不怕被省略
你怕不怕被沦落在宿命中妥协
当真爱宣告从缺
骄傲的玫瑰正一片一片枯萎
尽管你抱歉,忏悔
真心一旦坠跌就不能飞
别指望我谅解
别指望我体会
爱不是点头就能挽回
快乐或伤悲没什么分别
心碎到终点会迎刃而解
别指望我谅解
别指望我体会
爱不是注定要填你的缺
太多的是非
来不及杜绝
更不想依恋这残缺的美
残缺的迂回

2011-08-05T19:59:00.001+08:00

谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔

horoscope

2011-08-05T00:24:00.000+08:00

Pisces and Sagittarius love compatibility

These two ignite in the bedroom, but the compatibility ends there. None of them can give another the feeling of reliability. Independent Sagittarius is too much of a rover to satisfy Pisces's need for attention and devotion. Sagittarius's sharp tongue will hurt Pisces's romantic sensibilities. Pisces wants to get close but is constantly confused and rebuffed by Sagittarius's struggle to free itself of the heavy emotional demands. The Sagittarius thinks that, that he/she is constrained by shyness of the Pisces, and that his/her energy and optimism are slowly drowning in a bog of despondency. This is an extremely difficult connection. The marriage is almost impossible.

Pisces and Gemini love compatibility

The passion quotient is high, and so are the problems. The Pisces are too emotional for Gemini. Emotional Pisces for his/her turn is too easily hurt by thoughtless Gemini. Gemini is mischievous and playful, but Pisces is sensitive and takes things to heart. It creates an atmosphere of suspiciousness and mistrust. There can be a feeling of flame between them but the instability in their relations will destroy connection as a result. This is a rather risky connection and unhappy marriage.

Pisces and Capricorn love compatibility

The Pisces will probably try to cheat on the Capricorn, because it is in their character, but the Capricorn is able to cope with it and will be the leader in bed. The Pisces will soon decide to follow him/her. The Pisces are affectionate and sincere creatures and can make the Capricorn's life full of joy. Capricorn provides a ballast for Pisces's drifting dreaminess and supplies the stability that Pisces needs and admires. And there's nothing Capricorn likes better than being admired. These very different people supplement each other emotionally. It is a good combination with complimentary values. They will find comfort in one another providing Capricorn displays his/her emotions at least once in awhile. There is very good forecast for these relationships.

Pisces and Aquarius love compatibility

In case Pisces study the Aquarian horoscope , this may not be a bad combination. But usually their sexual affinity turns into a war with elements of a melodrama. The sensitive Pisces dependent on the Aquarius too much and constantly demanding the proofs of his/her love. The Aquarius feels depressed. The Pisces is a highly complex personality that must be the center of attention in his/her lovers life, and this is disheartening to Aquarius who believes in developing individuality. Pisces can have deep bouts of depression and if he/she perceives that Aquarius is unsympathetic to these he/she may cut Aquarius off completely and make his/her own private decision about their life together. This connection seems to be promising at first , but it will never get into a happy marriage.

Pisces and Scorpio love compatibility

This may be a love at first sight combination. There is a strong mutual attraction between them. Pisces are ready to rely on Scorpio to compensate their indecision, and will agree with the Scorpio's aspiration to dominate. Scorplo's jealousy and possessiveness won't bother Pisces-in fact, it makes Pisces feel loved. Pisces's dependency is just what Scorpio is looking for. These two share a special communion, much of it on a sensual, unspoken level. Both have intense feelings, are loyal, intuitive, interested in the mystical and the unusual. Their sexual life should be delightful. The Pisces are inventive. The Scorpio is persevering. Both - affair and marriage are successful.

Pisces and Taurus love compatibility

This usually is a very happy combination. Taurus is a strong, authoritative figure who can provide security and stability for vacillating Pisces. Trying to help Pisces make all of their dreams come true, tactfully and reliably encouraging them, a persevering Taurus can achieve all what he wants from these relationships. Success of their sexual harmony depends on the Taurus. These two can share a great deal of their appreciation for beauty, art, sensuality and just about any of the finer things in life. Pisces is easily clouded by emotion but can be brought to reality by Taurus' down to earth nature. Taurus can be helped to dream by the Pisces personality. There are good prospects for interesting affair as well as for healthy marriage.

Pisces and Libra love compatibility

Here there is mutual attraction, but it seldom lasts long as they start off fine, since both are sentimental and affectionate. In a way they are alike: both want to impose their romantic visions on reality. Libra can get along will with mast people, but Pisces is more discriminating, and this is the source of their disagreements. Nothing makes Libra more miserable then a sulky, complaining Pisces. Finally Libra will become tired with a Pisces' desire to rely on someone. As for the Pisces -they can't stand the fact that the Libra has a vast variety of interests. If Libra becomes quarrelsome, Pisces will plunge into despondency. Does it sound sadly? Yes, it does.

Pisces and Cancer love compatibility

This is an affectionate, sensitive couple who will bolster each other's ego. Pisces is an imaginative dreamer but Cancer is an imaginative worker-and together they can make their dreams a reality. Pisces provides romance in Cancer's life, and Cancer is the all-protective lover Pisces needs. They are a good pair in the field of sex. They are both sympathetic and try to support each other. Probably the Cancer will be the leader, because of the the Pisces' inclination for some eccentricity in love affairs. The quarrels are usually short and quickly come to an end in bed. They are perfectly fit for each other. They can spend their time during day and during night with the same result and the sentimental combination of these two signs make for an ideal marriage.

Pisces and Aries love compatibility

Fire and water do not normally mix and that is why the Aries with Pisces love match could be a complex relationship. Aries is self-assured and vivacious; Pisces is somewhat shy and easily led. Aries likes to be dominant, Pisces likes having someone to lean on. The Aries will be intrigued by the behavior of Pisces in the bedroom. The active participation of the Aries will help Pisces get the shyness over. The realization of Pisces' sexual wishes can cause strong excitation. Together they should have interesting and pleasant time. The opportunity of connection or a marriage is very high, if they manage to overcome the differences between their temperaments.

Pisces and Leo love compatibility

Leo is flamboyant, domineering; Pisces is unworldly and mystical. They intrigue each other because they are so different, but the differences don't mesh well. An active Leo can not understand timid and quiet Pisces. Leo won't not even try to understand the Pisces' behavior in bedroom. Representatives of both signs are inclined to receive more than give. Leo needs public acclaim, while Pisces prefers the sheltered life. Leo can't tolerate Pisces's ultra-sensitivity, nor Pisces's inclination toward exotic boudoir activity. When Pisces run into despondency the Leo's pride doesn't allow him to participate and help his/her partner to get a problem over. It will be rather difficult connection and unsuccessful marriage.

Pisces and Pisces love compatibility

With these two signs having the same virtues and vices they should get along well together, or at least they will have understanding and sympathy for one another. Their mutual sympathy guarantees that there will be a perfect understanding in the field of sexual needs between them. If their problems can be dissolved on a background of a sexual compatibility, it will be one of the best pairs in the Zodiac. The only possible drawback is a drifting too far from practical realities. To solve this problem they both can be anchored to each other, so that they can put their shoulders to the wheel and face the responsibilities that reality demands. This is seems to be a rather sexual connection. The marriage will be interesting.

2011-08-04T09:08:00.001+08:00

寂寞不痛痛在念旧
越小的事越多的感受
时间像笨小偷把幸福打破
留下了碎片让人难过

2011-08-04T01:10:00.001+08:00

As the saying goes, we grow wiser as we get older.
Wiser in protecting ourselves. Building up the walls, well, past experiences taught us that.
And forcing ourselves to be rational.
No more mad love, I live only for you love, emotions bursting from the heart love. No more.
We became calculative, not willing to invest more for fear that things won't work out in the end.
Not willing to reveal our weakest self, for fear that we might get hurt.
Not willing to give a little more, because why should we when the other party don't?
Not willing to just let down the walls, because they didn't.
In short, no one is willing to take the first step.
We are human, and we are all selfish.
But in order to achieve that level of love, we have to be selfless.

I'm made up of dreams and scars.
I've dreamt and I've feared.
I've succeeded and I've failed.
My weakness made me strong.
I wanna take that road again. I've dreamt about that love.
Would you make the first move for me?
Would you tell me it's ok?

But maybe, you are not even here anymore.

black out

2011-08-04T00:31:00.000+08:00

yet another black out again.what's up with mrt and black outs. sighs.
i literally felt blood draining from my face, the coldness and numbness went straight thru my head, my body defying my orders. and down i go.

i'm forced to be strong. because i know i got to be strong.
went to work as usual.
was the last to leave office, damn scary.

i want to eat royce, i need it to keep sane.

and so...as i read thru my schedule for the year, it's only once this year..

batam

2011-07-28T00:54:00.002+08:00

batam trip~

tireÐ

2011-07-27T09:48:00.001+08:00

I'm really very tired.
I'm breaking out like mad due to the stress.
I need coffee everyday.

2011-07-22T11:40:00.001+08:00

阮將青春嫁治恁兜　阮對少年隨你隨甲老
人情世事已經看透透　有啥人比你卡重要
阮的一生獻乎恁兜　才知幸福是吵吵鬧鬧
等待返去的時袸若到　你著讓我先走
因為我嘛不甘　看你　為我目屎流

2011-07-20T22:45:00.000+08:00

你看过了许多美景
你看过了许多美女
你迷失在地图上每一道短暂的光阴

你品尝了夜的巴黎
你踏过下雪的北京
你熟记书本里每一句你最爱的真理

却说不出你爱我的原因
却说不出你欣赏我哪一种表情
却说不出在什么场合我曾让你动心
说不出离开的原因

sleep

2011-07-20T09:07:00.001+08:00

Feel so much better after a good sleep.
And seeing the whatsapp msg, I feel much better.

Chin up!

lack of inspiration

2011-07-19T19:25:00.001+08:00

Nothing inspires me recently.
The lack of enthusiasm is making me lifeless.
What's life without passion?
What's life without love?
What's life without dreams?

Times like this when I feel completely beaten and exhausted, I tend to question myself.
Afterall, this is my own choice.
I need to bear the consequences. But I know I've tried. More than I should, more than I would.

hot

2011-07-15T08:53:00.001+08:00

The hot weather is killing me >_<

I had a good dream last night.
I was in some cafe in paris, choosing my breakfast while waiting for my friends.
So many choices! And I end up ordering some fluffy blueberry pancakes with whip cream on top.
No wonder I woke up feeling so hungry! LOL!

tears

2011-07-05T02:22:00.001+08:00

Tears are signs of weakness, of vulnerability.
So stop crying.

heart

2011-07-05T02:16:00.001+08:00

I lay my heart out on the table, it's not easy to swallow my pride and make the first move.
I returned feeling even more broken and misunderstood than before.
Keep my thoughts to myself, show my weakness to no one, don't let myself be defeated.
Be a lion-hearted girl.

since when

2011-07-04T08:57:00.001+08:00

I've listened to enough excuses to last a lifetime, so spare me that.

balenciaga

2011-06-28T20:56:00.001+08:00

I'm still in love. With balenciaga.
Sighs.

busy

2011-06-28T09:00:00.001+08:00

Hardly take pictures nowadays, nothing interesting recently.
Too busy with work and school. Rest is all I think about.
No holidays this year, it's just too hard.
Going batam next month, and guess what? It's on the day of my consumer behavior test, gonna defer to a later date.

laughed at

2011-06-25T02:57:00.001+08:00

Either I pull myself up, or I fall into the trap.

tgif

2011-06-24T08:52:00.001+08:00

TGIF!
This week is exceptionally slow. And my weekends won't be relaxing, I got sch tml and a test on sunday.
I lost the initial glow, kinda drained.
But it's ok, I will learn to adjust.

effort

2011-06-22T00:12:00.001+08:00

EFFORT is the key, stop talking & do something.

flea

2011-06-20T19:06:00.001+08:00

The flea was a success!
Sold our stuff at 2 bucks each! I managed to clear 46 pieces of clothes. Hahahha.
Say yay to more wardrobe space!

It was fun and tiring, esp celeste who clubbed till 3plus in the morning.
Bf is nice, helped and drove us to and fro.

Tanglin next!

-_-

2011-06-08T02:26:00.001+08:00

I can't sleep.
The words keep repeating and my heart keep hurting.

This time round I think I've fully expressed myself, and I guess all along it is not because of how badly I've expressed myself. Coz it doesn't make a difference.

Major headache. Just let me sleep it off please.

signs

2011-06-07T08:50:00.001+08:00

The signs are all pretty much the same.
It all started with deleting. Well, how not to get suspicious when I went thru it like a million times?

rainy

2011-06-06T08:50:00.001+08:00

Rainy monday.
Here I am, questioning myself again.
So what does this silence mean? What is the meaning behind the actions?
Perhaps, it all ends up the same.
Will you lend me a helping hand? No matter how trivial or major it is?
Because sometimes I feel like I'm on a solitary stand.
Feelings are nothing, it doesn't matter much anymore now, does it?

same

2011-06-06T01:26:00.001+08:00

So familiar. It all starts the same I guess.
And I guess it will end pretty much the same.
Tell me what I am suppose to feel.
When I thought it's gonna be different, it prove to be pretty much the same.

solitary

2011-06-05T14:07:00.001+08:00

Is it going to be just me against the world?

love

2011-05-28T23:14:00.001+08:00

At 26, my view on love and relationship differs from 10 years ago.
I try not to let what I hear, see and experience taint my hope on love.
But it's hard.

When I was 16, listen to those sad songs which speak of heartbreaks and betrayal.
And I often wonder why there's so much sadness, but it's just songs I thought.

Right now, how often do we experience or see betrayals?
What's the meaning of being attached now? Some people in doubt, some people can see their partner everyday but still cheat, some people can love many at once.

Love. How saintly and great it was. It used to be eternal, beautiful, devoted, pure and worthy.
Marriage used to be forever, just like how it should be.

When people are in a relationship, isn't it supposed to be you see your partner as someone you can spend your life with? Your partner should be someone you can be with through thick and thin, no?
The idea of soul mate, close to. But why? People are just not faithful anymore, why?
Sighs. Is it so hard to face love with honesty and the truest heart?

burnt

2011-05-23T08:43:00.001+08:00

Didn't manage to get enough rest over the weekends.
But it was a good one!

Sat was ling's big day! Can't make it but I feel so happy for her! =)

-_-

2011-05-17T16:04:00.001+08:00

The hot weather is driving me crazy! Hate perspiring! Argh!
Heading out now to watch hoodwinked. Gonna stuff myself with popcorn.

I'm at a stage that I'm not exactly comfortable with myself.
I know not many ppl think I'm fat, I'm not. Just chubby.
And I don't like the fats bulging out. Yet I can't diet like in the past anymore, crash diet is not for me.
And my choice of food is always not so healthy.
Guess I need to exercise. I think it's time to start swimming!

bored

2011-05-16T23:20:00.001+08:00

Yawns. On my way home now from the bbq session with my colleagues.
Bloated from all the food, and I'm so sticky! Not that I helped with bbq-ing the food, but it was pretty hot!
Kinda bored now, ph tml. A drink or two would be nice. Perhaps I should finish up the red wine in the fridge.

heart

2011-05-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

In the middle of the sea.

sighs

2011-05-12T09:07:00.000+08:00

That smile. That laugh. That sparkle in the eyes. That butterflies in the stomach. The dreams. The expectations. That december.

too nice

2011-05-11T18:32:00.001+08:00

Maybe it's time to stand up for myself. Being scared of hurting other ppl's hurting will only hurt me.
Sick of taking for granted of being able to take anything.

yawns

2011-05-10T23:08:00.001+08:00

I'm quite nervous about tomorrow, kinda scared. Sighs.

I enjoyed time with myself.
Just stoning not doing anything, watch silly shows and laugh it out, or just thinking.
Think about what I could have done, think about the life I have, the choices I have.
Think about the past(briefly, coz I've learned not to let the past haunt me), the future, the regrets, the goals, the wants. Many many things...
And also the person I've become. What kinda person I am? Do I like myself? Should I care so much about what ppl think and say of me? How impt I am in other ppl's life?

All these years, what I hope for never change.
What I yearn for is still the same.

asos

2011-05-05T22:51:00.001+08:00

pray hard the pants will fit! love the bright colors, somehow i always get attracted to blues.

I don't have such bright color for pants.

can't have enough of polka dots!

belt up!

spice up my mane!

april

2011-04-28T23:50:00.001+08:00

Lil J's bday picture post

Day~

Resort feel~

Pool!

Black is forever love!

Props~

the girls in black.

It was fun, we changed outfits, we ate from noon to 3am. LOL. Gossip and just chat =)
Lovely time!

Meetup with my sec sch girlies just yesterday.
Hard rock cafe for dinner, coffee bean.

Don't belittle yourself for anyone.

thoughts

2011-04-28T02:18:00.001+08:00

Rough patch. I'll survive.
How can I get over it? When those words constantly ring in my ears.
How can I ever forget something that hurt me so badly?
Time heals, sure. But it would always be a scar.
It's gonna be a barrier. Coz it was just a reminder to love myself more.

monday blues

2011-04-25T08:52:00.001+08:00

Monday blues after a long weekend!
Last week was bad, except half of fri and sat!
Truly hope that this week will be a much better week, I guess it will, with all the meetups! Can't wait!

over the line

2011-04-22T15:01:00.001+08:00

So here I am sitting right in the middle of this cheery ice cream shop.
Yet I am fighting my tears, I can't help but feel so affected.
Too much sadness for these few days, why am I denied from what I deserve?
Worthless to you, but not to me.
I deserve respect, I deserve love, I deserve more.

run away

2011-04-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

had a huge fight with my mum, all the shouting the crying. so tiring.
and she asked me to just leave and not come home.
and this is when i realized i got nowhere to go.

not a good day

2011-04-20T19:53:00.001+08:00

Woke up feeling like shit and tired.
Stained my white blouse during lunch.
Fell on the stone pavement on my butt, ouch!
Spilled my happy lemon before drinking it.
Sighs.

holiday

2011-04-20T08:51:00.001+08:00

I want a holiday.
Since it's so hard to save the amount needed by june to go hk, I think I can forget about it totally for the year.
Maybe go somewhere near again.

exams are over

2011-04-19T08:39:00.001+08:00

Exams are finally over! Took leave since last thursday to yesterday, not super hardworking though.
Exam questions are crap, just bs my way through. Pray hard for a pass!

Short work week for me! Can't wait for fri! Checking out park regis hotel with the girlies! Lil j's bday celebration! Just us girls! =p

-_-

2011-04-15T00:48:00.001+08:00

long day, can't wait for the law paper to be over. damn stress -_-

KI SIAO

2011-04-13T00:31:00.001+08:00

2011-04-08T01:37:00.000+08:00

喝酒的伴
一起看电影的伴
早午晚餐的那个伴
朋友不能留得太晚
明天要上班
唱K的伴一起去旅行的伴
听懂我的笑话的伴
我的生活
只差那个人就美满

快乐少一人分享
快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
没人分享
幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
节日却提醒我孤单

没有想法
有想法又能怎样
只能写部落格整晚
几个留言安慰不了
心里的遗憾
没有负担
原来也是种负担
自由多得让人心慌

“你羡慕我那要不要跟我交换”

没人知道我多孤单

drained

2011-04-07T23:48:00.000+08:00

really tired.

one sided

2011-04-06T02:27:00.001+08:00

I won't get it. So shut off. Fine. Argh.

2011-04-06T01:52:00.001+08:00

pretty obvious who's high! hahaha
need to train jac! wooohooooo~slow and easy is the way to keep high and sober!
gin & tonic, screwdriver, cranberry volka shared among all. 2 tequila shots. 1 beer. and 2/3 martell?
baby is a violent drunk, our entertainment for supper. LOL.

mar

2011-03-31T23:32:00.001+08:00

mar is ending in less than half an hour.
april is gonna be a stressful month, exams on the 16th and 18th.
but bf said we can go for a short getaway after that! batam for a night. hurhur.

i miss the food! omg! damn awesome! first time all the dishes also nice! at punggol promenade.

first time eating dinner at rider's cafe. omg i love love love the scallop & asparagus risotto!

love =)

exams

2011-03-30T09:14:00.001+08:00

Exams in less than 3 weeks *stress*

shopping queen

2011-03-29T21:40:00.001+08:00

I shop and shop. Cannot believe myself.
Got a pair of white pants and blue pants. Ok both colors I don't have. Wanna get the bf jeans, but 90! Omg I need more time to consider.
My never ending need for basics, got a pink, brown and white.
And my crochet flats! Major cuteness!

Got the essentials from watsons that's running low, 80 bucks just like that!

Bought packets of milo and old town coffee, gonna cut down on starbucks.
Paid hp bill, top up 40bucks for ezlink card.
Gave mummy money, pay study loan.
Time to plan my budget for the month properly!

sunny saturday

2011-03-26T14:31:00.001+08:00

What a sunny saturday!
It's rare that bf and I are out on saturdays. Yes! We are now lazy bums on weekends.
Anyway we are turf city, bf is checking out car while I wait, drinking milk(hungry la haven't eat) in the car enjoying the air con, hiding from the sun. Lol.
Plan to go ecp later in the early evening. Haha.

tgif

2011-03-25T09:10:00.001+08:00

Cabbing to work now. Omg so tired.
Woke up aching all over, oh man I really need coffee later.
Sighs.

yawns

2011-03-24T22:14:00.001+08:00

I'm really very tired.
Slight headache. Aching body. And I think I strain dunno what muscle, the area near my ankle hurts.
I need sleep.
I want to watch movie, eat popcorn, take a slow walk enjoying the night scenery, get a massage, do some hydration facial, drink some red wine, and sleep. LOL.

stages of relationship

2011-03-22T23:01:00.001+08:00

after reading some articles regarding relationships, i find it very interesting!

-The Honeymoon
Almost all relationships start from this initial stage, this is the falling in love and everything seems right period.
It's like everything's from a fairytale. A simple smiley text message can even make your heart skip a beat! You feel like you are wonder woman and everything is possible! The world is such a beautiful place, and flowers smell much nicer~

-The Discovery
The start of the journey to discover who your partner really is. The weird little habits, the cute sleeping positions, and unwrapping of the masks. Slowly opening up to each other. Seeing each other differently after catching a glimpse of each other's vulnerablilties, the communication also strengthen the bond. But at the same time it is highly likely to discover irritating little habits as well!

-The Commitment
This is when a couple recognize each other to be the one that they will be committed to, and it is a stage whereby you can finally relax a little, i mean after that you've already opened up in terms of heart & soul, so the love now should be what's inside. It's fun with more stay in nights instead dining out and movies every week, homely activities took over! At the same time, we might take each other for granted. Are we paying lesser attention to our partner as well as our relationship? Guilty as charged! Communication is the key here.

-The Power Struggle
This happens mainly to the endless fights, most couples end in this stage. But this is a stage to get through together, it's crucial. There's always so many problems, different personalities, different way we want to handle things. There's no right answer to this except to really sit down and listen to each other. And remember, with love everything is possible =)

-Growth
People tend to think about after a major thing happened, self-reflection to be done, adjustments...whatever. Maturity of individual and one from a relationship increases, don't be afraid to make changes. Both parties should have a way to grow individually or as a team, and love for each other will grow as well.

-Second Honeymoon
A stage whereby you will appreciate and love your partner more. It's not easy to reach this stage, thus this is what love is all about.

There's a few more stages, but I've decided to write on these few.
I believe many couples went through these stages. And my lovely gfs and I were talking about the honeymoon and current status of the r/s, super funny! Of course we have great bfs, but the difference is a significant change. Cinderella, we are. Haha. And the magical spell that turns us into princesses are like special occasions.
I believe I've gone through the stages above, acceptance is a constant reminder.
I'm not the perfect gf, but sometimes I try to remind myself of the stuff I missed out.
Sometimes articles like this is really interesting and helps myself to understand my feelings.

mbs

2011-03-21T23:35:00.001+08:00

the lovely suite~

=)

i told the bf to just get anything from here for me, hahaha he gave me the "you think leh?" face!
just kidding la!

lovely sat!

change!

we LOVE the pool!

just hanging out by the pool, doing absolutely nothing and enjoy the surroundings..

beautiful clouds~

night came, and we girls had lots of fun!

girlies <3

new bag!

mbs is awesome~

monday blues

2011-03-21T08:58:00.001+08:00

The monday blues got me!
Weekends was so good! Pigging out, hk drama serial, monopoly deal. Haha.
Bf feels cooped up at home, but lazy me is totally ok with it.

Exams in less than a month. Panic!

grumpy

2011-03-18T19:50:00.001+08:00

Omg I'm super duper grumpy now!
Coz I can't buy the 2 pair of shoes from topshop! ARGH!!!

tgif

2011-03-18T08:51:00.001+08:00

On my way to work now, super tired.
But TGIF! Looking forward to having enough rest over the weekend.

it's my bday!

2011-03-16T00:56:00.002+08:00

it's my birthday! =)

overall happy & contented with my life. i feel blessed.

cheaterbug

2011-03-15T08:51:00.001+08:00

I was told men are all liars.
Men are bound to cheat. And they are allowed to, coz they are men.
WTF this don't even have any logic.

Well, I guess I had quite a lot of experience being cheated on, and yes I was stupid enough to forgive the same person like a million times. But I'm not the same person anymore, such a time consuming lesson for me.
And I've learned that whatever people told you, there's always some truth to it.
Just like when so many people was telling me that they spotted my ex bf with another girl, yet I still chose to believe his words when he said it's not true, and he was still begging for my forgiveness.
Like wtf, it was when my cousin saw them then I woke up when the lies he had been feeding me. Then I realized, why would people put cause trouble for him like he claimed.

I guess that's why they say love is blind, you are blinded by the truth. Even when deep down in your heart you know what the truth is.

week 2

2011-03-15T08:41:00.001+08:00

Things got better, I stopped being sucha emo kid. Haha.

Anyway last weekend over at mbs was fun!
The view from the pool is awesome! And we got a free upgrade to the suite, how awesome is that!
And it's really spacious and beautiful! =)
Pictures tonight!

Tml will be my birthday, the candle on my cake is just gonna be one candle from this year onwards.
I was not somebody who thought 25 and above is old, but somehow my surrounding people kept reminding me and I can't help but get affected. Hmmm... And I jump with joy when some classmates was shocked that I was 26 and thought I'm like 22 or 23 like them. LOL.

sales analysis

2011-03-12T01:59:00.001+08:00

sell thru report for the season is usually comparing eg. Spring summer 11 vs Spring summer 10.

tgif

2011-03-11T08:47:00.001+08:00

TGIF! Omg very don't have this kinda count down feeling alr!
I got so tired even though I don't have much to do at work yet, oh man need to adjust fast!
Hmm plans for the weekend is awesome!
ok today I'm gonna cook japanese curry rice for dinner.
Tml we are going to mbs.
Sun we are gonna bring my mum out for her bday dinner.
=)

So nice to have sweet gfs who chatted with me and even lunch with me knowing that I'm lonely.
Hurhur happy!

day 3

2011-03-09T11:10:00.001+08:00

Day 3.
Gosh. I wanna fly to bf's place now.

2011-03-06T17:39:00.001+08:00

Those words pierced through my heart.
I was hoping I heard it all wrongly.

pic post

2011-03-04T11:30:00.001+08:00

dinner at ma maison on a friday...

love the food!

=)

my colorful nails!

early in the morning~ angela's wedding

the sisters

secondary sch mates, it's been 10 years!

bf went with me

lovely tuesday with my girlies!

love my girls!

jump for joy!

2011-03-01T10:48:00.001+08:00

Why is it that everyone love blaming me?
Make me feel guilty, seriously?
Spare a thought for me. Is it too much to ask?
And my heart sank. The disappointment, it's almost too much to take.
Can't you see I'm trying to be a better person?

2011-02-28T19:19:00.001+08:00

Will you be loving me more through all that stormy weather, say forever, will you be here for sure?
Will you open your door, will you come catch me when I fall?
And at the end I hope together we can soar...

2011-02-28T19:02:00.001+08:00

To hold my hand through the darkness,
To warm my heart when there's unkindness,
To give me support through the storms,
To just love me even my flaws.

2011-02-28T00:44:00.001+08:00

What a long day! Went zouk so I was home only at 2plus, super tired! Slept at 3plus and was up at 5.15am.
Joanne and her hubby came to fetch me, so nice of them! And sm is really good to her!
Went over to angela's place.
The brothers play cheat, spit out the "sour sweet bitter spicy" that we prepared!
Long day go here and there. The photographer only know how to say, huat ah, action, tong xue men. LOL!
Left at almost 1pm, went over to bf's place. Bathed and napped!
4.20pm then wake up, prepared and went over to the hotel.
Sm and andre went for coffee, coz we girls need to man the reception table.
The dinner was not bad.
Well, it was sweet. I feel happy for angela, coz I know she is in good hands and wilson will take care of her.
I'm glad to be able to witness their love. And you know what, love really make our life better. Gives us courage to go on with life no matter how hard it would be.

wedding

2011-02-25T08:50:00.001+08:00

There's so many friends getting married this year.
Angela's this sun, ling's in may, jaslyn's in may as well,joanne's in oct.
Madness can! And a random chat with a classmate yest, she getting married in sept.
Alright the whole wide world is getting married!
Ok I can't deny this kinda make me yearn for my own wedding, especially all the photoshoot!
Overseas shoot is damn nice can! Haha
Alright forgive me for dreaming a little!
I'm sincerely happy for all my friends! =)

2011-02-24T09:00:00.001+08:00

So tml's my last day.
I'm so lucky that I'm blessed with nice colleagues, we are damn bitchy, coz come on this is the fashion industry!
LOL. But at the end of the day, career advancement and monies is important as well.
So well, farewell my friends!
There's lingming, my fave! We might be different in so many ways but I really love her =)
Jac is always grumpy, but she is such a lovely at times.
Pinky makes my blood boil, but I've grown to like her.
Jas is the info counter, regarding everything!
Yingqi is the young one, we talk about nails and girly stuff.
To be honest there's nothing but them I will miss =)

So next week is my one week break before I start my new job!
I'm gonna revise, meet my dearest s&j on tues, meet my colleagues for lunch, go for hair cut, dye hair, go get my eyebrows shaped. And get plenty of rest!

2011-02-24T08:43:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I forgot too quickly what I'm mad about. Sighs.

small

2011-02-22T15:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel a super girl, full of hope and nothing is impossible.
But the very next moment I feel so small that I just wanna curl and hide in a corner.
I'm just not smart enough, not pretty enough, not slim enough just generally not good enough.
When inferiority hits me, I can only allow myself to sink or embrace my flaws and not-so-perfect characteristics and love myself more.
It would be nice to know that I'm loved even for my flaws. I don't wanna hide and be someone who you love but it's not even me.

Girls are meant to be doted on, I don't have to be your 掌上明珠, but it's good enough to know that there will always be someone who will be there for you, looking out for you.

positive

2011-02-18T08:53:00.001+08:00

Pointless to worry.
Be positive.
Not gonna be easy.
Be a lion-hearted girl.